Navigating Life's Transitions: Finding Control Amid Today's Chaos

Brief Lessons from Tom Brady, a Former Congressman, and the Natural Washing Machine of Life

Does it sometimes feel like the country, or the world, is in a washing machine, tumbling about without structure or control? Yeah, I think it does. Yesterday, Tom Brady gave an interview where he discussed his life after being the star NFL quarterback for two decades.

“I feel like, naturally as a quarterback, I was in control. I loved flying the plane, being the operator. I think what you realize in life is that you’re not in control that much. What do I need to do more in my life? I need to be better with less control…” - Tom Brady.

I can relate to this myself. After 12 years in Congress, sitting front row to every major war, skirmish, domestic issue, outrage, etc., it’s an adjustment to step away and relinquish control. From the outside, people look at this and say, “Well, boo hoo, you starred in the NFL for decades or served in Congress, move aside.” And that is fair. Neither Congress, nor the NFL, was set up to be an eternal job. Yes, Tom Brady will become a commentator, similar to me, but the itch to be in the fight never leaves you. It’s like a retired General on CNN talking about a war he wishes he was commanding.

All of this is natural, and every human goes through these transitions. A good friend of mine and former AEI President Arthur Brooks once told me: “You can keep up the passion and energy for about 10 years. After that, stay in the fight but move to a different position.” His passion is mentorship, taking what you have learned in the school of hard knocks and passing that information on to others. We live in a post-pandemic time where it feels as if everything has become unmoored, unhinged, and delusional.

Take heart. This is all natural, whether it’s the feelings after quitting Congress, the NFL, or whatever challenge you find yourself in today. Maybe it’s a concern for a family member, the country, or your community. Such is the natural washing machine of life. This doesn’t mean we should tumble about, listless, and mark time until we pass. No, it’s an understanding that we can make our tracks in this world with our families and communities, with a sense of joy and a clear conscience.

People ask me all the time: “What can I do to help the country?” My recent answer: “Drop that huge, heavy burden you are carrying.” Not because you need to disengage, but because the opposite is true. You need to stay engaged, but when you think the world relies on only you, you wear out, exhaust, and give up, left to tumble about. The forces who seek to destroy the country we love, love chaos. They feed on it. Don’t let them win: stay happy, frosty, and feisty!

There are volumes and volumes of books all helping you find your purpose in life. I wish I had a quick and easy formula for that. But I do know this: we will be remembered by the tracks we left in the hearts of our kids and family. I know our impact will not be measured by individual effort but by community cooperation. I also know that evil and division never win in the long run.

Take a deep breath today. Take a mental health break when necessary, and tumble in the washing machine with a smile. After all, it’s not going to stop, but it can be a fun ride if you make it so!