Inside a Congressman's misery during a shutdown

Dealing with misinformation and cowardly colleagues

On Saturday, the government was almost shut down. I was in Cape Cod, enjoying life and feeling happy that I wasn’t part of this evil carnival of asshattery. It was a stark contrast personally to every other time since 2011.

This may seem like a small thing, but trust me, being on the edge of a government shutdown you can’t defend is the most miserable thing possible in congress. The misinformation explodes and each side gets entrenched in it’s determination. And once the government actually shuts down, you budge… you lose.

We all know the problems with shutdowns, but let me explain the personal misery. First, you are at verbal war- no matter what. If you oppose the shutdown as I did, your phones are ringing off the hook with misinformed people who saw Hannity last night and are convinced that you want to keep the government open for some new world order or deep state reason. I’m not actually joking there. I have had many people accuse me of wanting to keep the government open because I want America to be destroyed since “it’s a Christian nation” (nevermind that I’m a Christian. Only real Christians destroy democracy evidently). Then there is the: Sean Hannity or Tucker said argument. This one says anything but mostly that all you have to do is shut it down, and the Dems will come crawling to you begging to build the wall, legalize Howitzers, and end social security, because reasons. The challenge is that you know you can’t win. So if you are a mature legislator who takes his or her role seriously, you try to explain why that is untrue. But if you are a Matt Gaetz, and member of the Freedom Caucus (freedom club) or your standard coward, you know that you can eventually blame “those weak RINOS (Republicans in Name Only)” who sold us down the river and re-opened government just when we were about to win. I was always on the receiving end of that one.

After government reopens, everyone moves on determined to never do that again, until the next group of radicals shows up bright eyed and bushy tailed pumped full of campaign speeches and Mark Levin radio. Of course in a real world, you would bring your battle scars, 1000 yard stare, and polling from the last shutdown to teach these noobs why shutdowns don’t work. Except they were elected because they got convinced by the afore mentioned Matt Gaetz and freedom club that YOU were the reason they lost in the first place!

Reset mentally now. If you’re a supporter of a shutdown, you have to dodge the infinite numbers of reporters on your way to votes asking you tough questions like “what is your goal here” or “don’t shutdowns actually cost money…” and the worst one… “Are you giving up your own pay?” While unloading a torrent of accusations against the other side usually is enough to buy you time to walk onto the house floor before a follow-up is asked, you know that was just the walk TO the votes on the floor of the house. When you LEAVE the votes, you have to dodge the reporters again. Here is the secret…leave out of a different door than the one you came in. Why? Well, if you see the same reporter that you fed garbage to about the other side, they can follow up with any of the above questions like “Are you donating your pay to charity and will you prove it?” A different door is a new set of reporters who have to start from Jump street.

Don’t even get me started on the donate your pay trick. The key here is to ask the pay folks to “hold your pay” and hope that sounds like you wont be paid to those listening. What it really means is they don’t pay you until the shutdown is over, but you will still eventually get that pay. Of course Congress only pays monthly, so if the shutdown is less that a month you don’t even have to be inconvenienced!

I never understood how these “shut it down” members were morally comfortable with knowing they are lying about what is possible, and then unloading the blame on those of us who were elected to govern. My conscience never allowed me to blame others for what I knew was not possible. But then again I always cared about what my legacy would be in Congress, not because of my own pride per se, but because Kinzinger is a pretty unique name that my son will wear his whole life.