Killing Cricket and other awfulness

Yes, She bragged

By now, you're likely familiar with the story of poor Cricket, the supposedly untrainable puppy that Kristi Noem shot to death and buried in a gravel pit. This "I’m-so-tough-I-can-shoot-a-dog" anecdote was omitted from her previous book but finds its place in her latest release, "No Going Back," which hit shelves this week. Yet, it's not the only passage within the 260 pages that might convince you of South Dakota Governor Noem's manipulative and ambitious nature, akin to the politicians she criticizes.

Dive deeper into the book, and you'll uncover another unsettling episode: following Cricket's demise, Noem turned her attention to the family's Billy goat. His crimes? Typical goat behavior, such as defending his territory by chasing intruders and emitting a pungent odor, characteristics expected of Billy goats. Disliking the goat, Noem took him to the gravel pit and shot him. When the first shot failed to kill, she left the goat in agonizing pain, fetched more ammo from her truck, and returned to end its suffering.

The narrative of Noem's animal-killing spree is seemingly intended to demonstrate her readiness to undertake tough decisions as a leader. Instead, it reads like the account of a woman driven by bloodlust who then reshaped the incident to fit a book that serves as little more than a tribute to Donald Trump. "Pick me! Pick me!" she seems to exclaim, hoping for Trump's endorsement as his running mate in the upcoming election. (Need I remind you that Trump is famously not fond of dogs?)

While her selection for such a role currently appears uncertain (given the public backlash over Cricket's fate), until recently, Noem was among the favored contenders for the Trump ticket, showcasing her adeptness at manipulation by having her book prepared well in advance. It's evident that she aimed to prove her ability to deceive and distort reality, much like Trump himself.

In "No Going Back," Noem fabricates stories, such as claiming to have met North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and misrepresenting a conversation with former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley, whom she falsely portrays as feeling threatened. However, Haley refutes any such notion of intimidation. Despite offering insights into her character, Noem's lies are overshadowed by her incessant praise of Trump and her unwavering alignment with his beliefs, mannerisms, and biases, evident in the book's frequent references to Trump and his ideologies.

Like Trump, Noem shares his disdain for figures like Dr. Anthony Fauci, whom she perceives as mishandling the Covid epidemic, views immigration as an existential threat, and openly disparages Republicans she deems as "RINOs," including Liz Cheney and the author. Cheney and the author, both Republicans who served on the committee investigating the January 6, 2021 attack on the US Capitol, view that day as a national disgrace and a blemish on democracy.

What does Noem have to say about January 6? Apart from labeling it "ugly," she exploits the event to vie with Haley for Trump's favor, emphasizing the need to continue supporting Trump regardless of the day's events. However, on January 7, when sensibilities were still raw over the attack instigated by Trump, Noem's maneuvering to align herself with Trump reflects her opportunistic approach.

Despite her extensive tenure in government, Noem harbors a deep-seated aversion towards it, as evidenced by her disparagement of Fauci, immigrants, and Republicans who don't align with her views. Were it not for her penchant for dispatching domesticated animals, she would be a natural fit for Trump's ticket, positioned as his potential successor should he become unable to fulfill his duties.

At this moment, Noem might be reflecting on the regrettable events involving Cricket and the goat.